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He wore blue paper clothes and a paper hat over his head. I might have laughed except for his face. His eyes were swollen, and his perfect skin was blotchy. He sniffed as he brought his hand up to my cheek. ‘It’s a boy?’ Matt’s eyes were wet, and his voice trembled as he spoke. ‘Oh Mag, you should see him. He’s so little, but he’s got a ton of blonde hair. He’s even got down-like hair on his shoulders and arms. It’s so blonde, it’s almost white. He’s beautiful, Maggie.’ ‘Is he okay?’ ‘The doctor, he’s a neonatologist, he said he’s critical, but there’s a good chance he’ll make it. He said lots of babies born this early make it these days.’ I only heard one word. ‘He’s critical?’ ‘But the doctor said he would be okay.’ I burst into tears. Matt tried to ‘shhhhsh’ me, as he cried too. I had gone from being unsure about wanting a baby to being heartbroken at the thought of losing one. * * * ‘C’mon, Maggie. You’re not in labor. It’s too soon. You can’t be. It must be gas or something,’. To my relief he doesn't seem to know. My outlook pops up with a new message. It looks like I'm going to a product demo for the new BMW that is releasing. I'm so excited because the even is in Daytona Beach, Fl. I read through the other people attending the event and my excitement turns into a feeling of excitement and nervousness. Shannon's name is on the list of people going, but her husband's isn't. This can't happen again. She is my friend's wife and I am married with k**s, I reason with myself, but part of me wants it to happen so bad. Most likely the lower part of me. Months go by and it's time for the trip. My wife drops me off at the airport. I do the appropriate I'm going miss you things. Not that they were sincere but I was trying to keep my marriage together for the k**s. It was early, I didn't know anyone, so I figure I will have a drink or two for the nerves of flying. I don't drink but once a couple of years. I sit down at the airport bar and order a New Castle. My mind.
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